Dr Doom & GloomARI SHORE 1of5
by Ari Shore
Summary: Written as the FIRST of 5 scripts with ARIANA SHORE, my O.C., who is ALAN SHORE'S SISTER. What sister? READ to FIND OUT! First scene takes place at the beginning of Season 4, not Season 5. Sorry. A COMPLETE STORY IN AND OF ITSELF. Also features a n Original Character, Carole, who returns in Script 2.


BOSTON LEGAL:

**DOCTOR DOOM & GLOOM **(**PART ONE**

OF A PROPOSED **5-STORY ARC**)

Registered with the **W.G.A**

**12/28/2007 12:03:59 AM**

**Pub:** **9/01/2012**

**RIGHT HERE  
**

**PROFILE LINK: ****ARI SHORE**

** u/4222531/**

BOSTON LEGAL: DR. GLOOM & DOOM

CAST LIST:

**REGULAR CAST:**

**ALAN SHORE**...JAMES SPADER

**DENNY CRANE**...WILLIAM SHATNER

**SHIRLEY SCHMIDT**...CANDACE BERGEN

**CLARENCE BELL**...GARY ANTHONY WILLIAMS

**GUEST CAST:**

**BRAD CHASE**...MARK VALLEY

**PAUL LEWISTON**...RENE AUBERJONOIS

**GRACIE JANE**...JILL BRENNAN

**ARIANA SHORE...ME (the WRITER) as ALAN SHORE'S SISTER**

KRATH

CAROLE

DOUGLAS

SANCHEZ

MACDOUGAL

YOUNG MAN

JUDGE

RECEPTIONIST

PHOTOGRAPHER

**NOTE:**

**THE FIRST SCENE IN THIS SCRIPT TAKES PLACE DURING THE VERY,**

**VERY START OF THE 5****th**** SEASON!**

BOSTON LEGAL:

DOCTOR DOOM & GLOOM

(PART ONE OF A PROPOSED 

5-STORY ARC)

BY ARI SHORE

**FADE IN:**

EXTERIOR-DENNY'S BALCONY-EVENING

**DENNY and ALAN are sitting outside, smoking cigars and drinking scotch.**

**DENNY**

You really are in a bad place, my friend.

**ALAN**

Indeed.

**DENNY**

So, what are you going to do about it?

**ALAN**

I don't know...

ALAN-CLOSE SHOT

The scene fades to black and white, with white fog around the edges as we -

FADE TO:

INTERIOR-DENNY'S OFFICE-MORNING

SUPER-**12 MONTHS AGO** (superimposed on the bottom of the screen)

**Denny and PAUL are discussing a case at Denny's desk.** The scene begins in black

and white, with white fog around the edges. As the scene progresses, it begins to

colorize and the fog slowly clears.

**PAUL**

This is a fairly large case, Denny, and for some reason, the clients want you.

**DENNY**

Of course! I'm Denny Crane, for God's Sake!

**PAUL**

And I, for once, agree. Class actions truly are your strong suit, Denny, I

cannot argue against that. So, you will take it, then?

**DENNY**

Of course!

(beat)

What's it about?

**PAUL**

(rolling his eyes)

Again, Denny, it's a medical case. Malpractice, fraud, it's all there.

Denny is examining thick files as he speaks.

**DENNY**

(holding up a file)

And here.

(holding up another)

And here.

**PAUL**

Um, yes...quite.

**DENNY**

What are you still doing here? You're in my way, Paul, I've got work to do. If

you're through standing there, that is.

**Paul smiles and nods, then leaves. Denny continues to turn files over, **

**mouthing "wow". Paul, visible in Denny's window, stares at Denny, grabs **

**his forehead, shakes his head, then walks away.** We-

FOLLOW PAUL TO -

INTERIOR-CP&S RECEPTION AREA-MORNING

**SHIRLEY is having a low conversation with the RECEPTIONIST**.

**PAUL**

Oh, Shirley - I just gave the Schweiber case to Denny.

**SHIRLEY**

(wheeling around as if shot)

You what? Are you out of your mind, Paul? What possessed you to do that?

**PAUL**

Easy, now! The other partners have already worked out all the details, done

client interviews, so Denny can be kept feeling useful for awhile, temporarily

neutralized, simply due to the sheer number of files. Hopefully, he'll be too

busy to cause any more trouble. Then when the time comes, all he has to do -

**SHIRLEY**

(interrupting)

- is be Denny Crane.

**PAUL**

Precisely!

**SHIRLEY**

Sounds like a plan. In fact, it's almost diabolical. I'm sorry I doubted you.

**PAUL**

Then we are in agreement.

**Paul walks away. Shirley resumes her conversation with the receptionist as the elevator **

**doors open to reveal who we later find out is ARI. She is extremely casually dressed, **

**very street-waifish despite her over-40 age. She has bright red hair and a very determined **

**attitude about her as she bursts out of the elevator, moving towards Shirley, who doesn't **

**immediately see her due to the fact that she is leaning over the desk.**

**ARI**

Alan Shore?

**Shirley straightens up and points towards Alan's office.**

**SHIRLEY**

That way. You have an appointment?

**Ari ignores Shirley and immediately begins a fast march back towards the office, nearly **

**pushing Shirley out of her way in the process. Shirley starts after her.**

**SHIRLEY**

Hey, wait a minute!

**Ari continues down the hallway, with Shirley**, and we -

FOLLOW ARI AND SHIRLEY

**SHIRLEY**

Whoa, there, missy - this is a place of business! You can't just come barging

in here like that! If you'll just make an appointment, I'm sure Alan will -

**ARI**

(cutting Shirley off)

Yeah, whatever.

**As they have progressed down the hallway, BRAD comes into view. He is just emerging**

**from the kitchen area. Ari points at him.**

**ARI**

You! Alan Shore's office?

**Brad points, Shirley glares at him, and he shrugs back at her, causing her to roll her **

**eyes as she trots on after Ari. Ari marches on**, **and gets to -**

**ALAN'S RECEPTION AREA**

**Ari tries to march past CLARENCE, who starts to protest until Shirley waves him back.**

INTERIOR-ALAN'S OFFICE-MORNING

**ALAN is speaking on the telephone.**

**ALAN**

You know that I am absolutely the one attorney positively guaranteed to get you

off every time. Count on it!

**Ari bursts in, Shirley in tow. Alan looks up at them.**

**ALAN**

(into phone, quickly)

Gotta go. Business.

**Alan hangs up the phone, and addresses Ari.**

**ALAN**

What are you doing here?

**ARI**

Fine way to greet your sister!

**Shirley stares at Ari, totally in shock.**

**SHIRLEY**

(squeaking)

Sister?

**Alan gets up and leaves without a word. Ari shrugs at Shirley, who looks at Alan's **

**retreating back, then Ari, and smiles very weakly at Ari** as we -

FADE TO:

OPENING CREDITS

**FADE TO:**

INTERIOR-ALAN'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Ari is sitting on Alan's sofa, with her feet up on his coffee table, as Alan enters. Alan **

**glares at her. He is not at all amused by her presence.**

**ARI**

What? Don't tell me you've never put your feet up here. Maybe you should try

it - it might loosen you up enough for that stick to finally fall out.

**ALAN**

Cut it out! Why are you here?

**ARI**

For our 26-year reunion. Isn't that when you abandoned me to that snake pit we

were forced to call home?

**ALAN**

That is not fair.

**ARI**

Yeah, news flash, Alan – life isn't fair, in case you haven't noticed.

**Alan goes to his desk, sits down. He takes a moment to compose himself, **

**as Ari has clearly rattled him.**

**ALAN**

Ari, look – I was going away to college; what was I supposed to do? Take you with

me? How was I supposed to support you when I could barely support myself?

Especially after Mom and Dad cut me off.

**ARI**

I could have helped! You swore to me you'd always protect me.

**ALAN**

(scoffing)

Yeah, when I was 10!

**ARI**

Yeah – and years later, when those night terrors started, who protected who? Or

did you forget?

**ALAN**

No, I never forgot.

(sighs)

Ari, who knows how much worse things could have been if I'd have taken you

with me?

**ARI**

Worse for whom?

**Alan gets a wounded look on his face.**

**ARI**

Don't you think things were bad enough for me as it was? You don't know the

things I had to do to make it. You don't wanna know.

**ALAN**

And that's my fault?

**ARI**

You could've helped. We could have helped each other.

**ALAN**

But you got out, a year later, totally without my help, may I add.

**ARI**

Yeah, legally emancipated myself at 16. Do you know what I had to do during

that year to make it look like I had a means of support when I finally sued

Mom and Dad?

**ALAN**

Well, you won.

**ARI**

I won nothing! It was all a bunch of lies. I was out, yeah. Into the huge

cold world. Alone. Do you have any idea how much I had to pay that hack

attorney?

**ALAN**

But you did nearly all the legwork and wrote the opening and closing yourself.

**ARI**

The judge would never have taken me seriously, so I rented the mouthpiece

and hired people to get up there to lie and say that I actually had a job and

home waiting for me out there.

**ALAN**

What do you want me to say? Things weren't easy for me, either.

**ARI**

At least you were legit. Or didn't you hear?

**ALAN**

That you were in jail for bank robbery? I heard about it.

**ARI**

And didn't care.

**ALAN**

That is not true.

**ARI**

So that's why you never visited me, huh? Because it's so not true that

you didn't care?

**ALAN**

Stop it.

**ARI**

You never could stand the truth, could you? Just like Mom and Dad, bury your

head in the sand when it isn't what you want to hear. Alan, they scarred you

just like they scarred me. Just because those scars aren't on the outside doesn't

make them any less real.

**ALAN**

(bitterly)

Why did you come here?

**ARI**

Because I was diagnosed with cancer. And I thought maybe you just

might care. My mistake!

**Ari gets up and leaves.** We see -

ARI'S BACK, RETREATING -

ALAN'S DOOR, CLOSING -

ALAN'S FACE, REACTING

CUT TO:

**ACT II**

INTERIOR-DENNY'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Alan enters Denny's office, where Denny is still looking at the Schweiber files.**

**ALAN**

What's all that?

**DENNY**

Class action suit Paul's begging me to take. Guess I will.

**ALAN**

Need a second chair?

**DENNY**

You bored again? I suppose I could use the company. Why don't you join me?

**ALAN**

How sweet of you to ask. What's it about, anyhow?

**DENNY**

It's about six thick – ass files. A medical something or other, your guess

is as good as mine.

**ALAN**

Here, let me see.

**Alan picks up a file, goes over to Denny's sofa and begins to thumb through it.**

**DENNY**

You've got that look again, my friend.

**ALAN**

And what look would that be?

**DENNY**

The look that means you're using work to get your mind off of something.

**ALAN**

Denny, your depth of perception never ceases to amaze me. Either that, or you

must know me very well.

**DENNY**

Of course I do, my fine feathered flamingo pal. Does that scare you?

**ALAN**

Oddly enough, not really.

**DENNY**

So, do you want to talk about it?

**ALAN**

Not particularly. Just your mere presence is comfort enough. Let's get to

work, shall we, my friend?

**DENNY**

Yeah, there's a lot of crap to cut through.

**ALAN**

More crap than you know...

INTERIOR-BRAD'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Brad is behind his desk, when his intercom buzzes. He sighs rather agitatedly, **

**hits the intercom button on the phone.**

**BRAD**

(into intercom)

Yeah?

**RECEPTIONIST**

(O.S.)

A Mr. Krath to see you.

**BRAD**

(into intercom)

Krath? Send him in!

**KRATH enters Brad's office, almost automatically begins a salute, then looks ruefully at his **

**right arm, which is wrapped in a bandage and in a sling. Brad salutes Krath, and motions for **

**him to take a seat on the sofa. He then comes over to sit in a stuffed chair himself.**

**BRAD**

Well, if it isn't Lance Corporal Krath!

**KRATH**

Actually, it's Sergeant First Class Krath now. I transferred to the National Guard

after the Gulf War.

**BRAD**

I'm in the Marine Corps Reserve, and I went up a couple of ranks myself.

**KRATH**

Yeah, I heard.

**BRAD**

Glad to see you.

**KRATH**

I wish. I'm not exactly here for a reunion. Wish I was, though.

**BRAD**

What's the problem?

**KRATH**

Well, maybe I shouldn't be bothering you, Brad, it's just that I didn't know

where else to go.

**BRAD**

You did the right thing. Maybe I can help you. So, tell me about it.

**KRATH**

Well, as I said, I'm in the National Guard now. I have always considered it

an honor and a privilege to serve, but not everyone feels that way.

**Krath fingers his sling, frowns.**

**BRAD**

What do you mean?

**KRATH**

I had some...tough times. Which, until now, I thought I could handle myself.

I've recently moved into a low-income building – about 8 months ago - and

the management seems to take great offense over the fact that I'm actually

working for a living, among other things.

**BRAD**

Okay, what happened? Give it to me straight.

**KRATH**

Well, it started off rather innocuously but soon it became very apparent that

this building, just like the whole low-income system in general, is basically

set up for junkies, jailbirds, and mental cases, and I have never been any

of those things. That's three strikes. Strike four – I am not a minority. They

don't specifically say this, of course, but their housing program is really set

up for nonwhites. I've been very nearly assaulted dozens of times on the

front steps, within plain sight of their so-called security guards who, not so

coincidentally, are just as nonwhite as 99 percent of the tenants. And these

guards did nothing. In fact, they and the management staff blamed me when

all I did was go quietly in and out, on my way to and from my three jobs.

Which was the fifth strike – working.

**BRAD**

Wow – that how you got the busted wing?

**KRATH**

Not exactly. I'm getting to that. But first let me tell you the capper. I went

away to annual training. Two weeks, I was gone. I left with my duffel bag,

in complete uniform, and in full sight of the staff and alleged security guards.

They knew full well why I was leaving, yet while I was away they called the

Department of Social Services, which they had no business doing, told them I

had abandoned the place, and got my food stamps cut off! And DSS, even

knowing they've broken the law, won't back down! Can you beat that?

**BRAD**

Whew! We'll get 'em, don't worry.

**KRATH**

Yeah, well, uh – I actually have no money. At least, not yet. You see, I

usually go downstairs to their pay phone at 2pm, to check in with my job.

So the day after I came back from AT, I went down to make the call.

When I came back up, the cleaning guy was right outside the elevator,

blocking my exit, cleaning cart and all. He was acting strange, and would

not get out of my way. I had to squeeze between him and the wall to get

by, very close to the elevator, on the very spot where, as it turned out, he

had sprayed cleaning fluid. With no "cation wet floor" sign, may I add. I

went down, spraining my wrist.

(hold up the sling)

And since I was already in court against the landlord due to repairs they have

refused to make, and rent I withheld because of it, I actually got a personal

injury attorney on the wrist issue. Didn't want to spread myself too thin,

plus I figured they were deliberately trying to get me hurt so I couldn't

continue in landlord/tenant court. That's when I decided I could use some

help. I hope you don't mind, but the only person I could think of was you.

**BRAD**

Straw that broke the camel, eh? Of course I don't mind. Glad you came to

me; I got your back, buddy.

**KRATH**

(exhaling a sigh of relief)

Thank you! I was hoping for a referral; I didn't expect you to take the case.

**BRAD**

Don't be ridiculous! Give me the phone number of the manager, we'll start there.

Also, I'll talk to your personal injury attorney, see what's going on with that.

**KRATH**

I really appreciate it, Brad.

INTERIOR-PAUL'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Paul is doing paperwork at his desk, when a very striking, classically beautiful **

**woman enters. Paul looks up, removes his eyeglasses, smiles at her.**

**PAUL**

Well, hello, Carole. How have things been in Hong Kong?

**CAROLE**

Hello again, Paul. You never were a good liar. You know I got transferred to

New York from there.

**PAUL**

Um, yes, I believe I may have heard that.

**CAROLE**

I assume you also know I am here on the Schweiber case?

**PAUL**

Yes. Well, it certainly is nice to see you again. We should...talk.

**Carole begins to slowly pace around Paul's office, now and again pausing to look at **

**awards, etc, that are on Paul's shelves as she speaks.**

**CAROLE**

Paul – it's okay. It was only one kiss, many years ago. You were beaten down,

caring for Olivia, worrying about Rachel.

**Paul's eyes drift to the photograph he has of Olivia. Carole goes over and picks it up, **

**looks at it, puts it down again.**

**CAROLE**

(turning to Paul)

It just happened in a weak moment.

**PAUL**

And then you left.

**CAROLE**

I told you – I didn't want to take advantage of you while we were both in

such a vulnerable state. We just...clicked. One of those things, just a

simpatico moment, you know?

**Paul doesn't answer, and Carole doesn't notice the hurt look in his eyes, as she is **

**busy examining an award.**

**CAROLE**

Naturally, I jumped at the chance to go help open CP&S's Hong Kong office. Who

wouldn't? I mean, face it – what did I really have left for me here anyway, since

Bob and I had split? So there's really nothing for us to...talk about, is there, Paul?

**Paul attempts a brave smile for her.**

**CAROLE**

Hey, where's that battle axe, anyhow?

**PAUL**

Oh, I suppose Shirley should be in her office. She's not due in court today.

**Carole leaves. Denny is standing just outside Paul's office, and sees Paul's eyes following **

**Carole out. Denny makes eyes, enters.**

**DENNY**

I've seen her before.

**PAUL**

Of course you have, Denny. She left here to open the Hong Kong office. I believe

she used to have Alan's office.

**DENNY**

I was going to ask you something...maybe I should come back when you aren't

so...mad cow.

**PAUL**

What? Oh - come in. What is it that you need to know?

**DENNY**

That's okay.

**PAUL**

What's the matter, Denny? Have you forgotten why you came here again?

**DENNY**

Uh...seeing that blond puts another blond bombshell in my mind. Think I'll go

probe Shirley. She really gets my pointer up.

**Denny leaves. Paul shakes his head and resumes paperwork.**

INTERIOR-SHIRLEY'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Shirley is seated at her desk. Brad enters.**

**BRAD**

Uh, Shirley?

**SHIRLEY**

What is it, Brad?

**BRAD**

Well, I sorta promised a pal I'd help him out.

**SHIRLEY**

What kind of help are we talking here?

**Brad shrugs and looks a bit uneasy.**

**SHIRLEY**

This is one out of the goodness of your own pockets, I presume?

**BRAD**

I guess. If necessary.

**SHIRLEY**

When was the last pro bono you did?

**BRAD**

A few months ago. Well, no – much as it pains me to admit, I actually lost a bet

to Alan on that one, so I paid. So the last actual pro bono would be...uh...

**SHIRLEY**

What kind of case is it?

**BRAD**

A winnable one. A fellow soldier is getting a crappy deal from his apartment

manager and landlord. Some harassment due to his military service status,

some discrimination...Don't worry, it shouldn't take more than a couple of

calls, probably get them to settle so it never even makes it to court.

**SHIRLEY**

Too bad.

**BRAD**

How's that bad?

**SHIRLEY**

Uh, you need to make it worth our time, Brad. Any way it can last long enough

to generate some press?

**BRAD**

Maybe.

**SHIRLEY**

See that it does, and we'll eat the cost.

**BRAD**

Thank you, Shirley.

**SHIRLEY**

No problem. Anything for a pal. Of course, if it gets too complicated, by

any chance -

**BRAD**

(finishing the thought)

- then I'll split the cost 50/50 with the firm?

**SHIRLEY**

Good enough.

INTERIOR-CP&S HALLWAY-AFTERNOON

**Ari is wandering the hallway, when she spots a YOUNG MAN coming out of the **

**conference room, looking a bit confused.**

**ARI**

You a client?

**YOUNG MAN**

Yeah, I'm suing my parents.

**ARI**

Been there.

**YOUNG MAN**

I want to be Jewish, but they are trying to force me to be Christian.

**ARI**

Bummer!

**YOUNG MAN**

By Jewish law, I am an adult, and have been for nearly four years – well,

minus the bar mitzvah, of course. But they won't listen to me.

**ARI**

Really? Good enough for me. So, where you going now?

**YOUNG MAN**

Looking for a bathroom.

**ARI**

Come on.

**Ari leads him to the men's room.**

**ARI**

Got a girlfriend?

**YOUNG MAN**

Well, sort of.

**ARI**

Yeah? Bet she can't do this!

**Ari grabs the young man by his tie, and drags him into the bathroom.**

CUT TO:

**ACT III**

INTERIOR-CP&S HALLWAY-AFTERNOON

**Denny is in the hallway outside his office, passing by, when he notes Alan out on the **

**balcony, alone, with a drink. Denny goes after him.**

EXTERIOR-DENNY'S BALCONY-AFTERNOON

**Alan is absorbed in thought and doesn't notice Denny coming outside with a cigar and scotch **

**until he speaks.**

**DENNY**

What's up with you?

**ALAN**

Huh? Oh, hi. Does it show?

**DENNY**

(sitting down)

Want to talk yet?

**ALAN**

Not particularly.

**Denny lights a cigar, passes one to Alan, then lights one of his own. They sit and **

**quietly smoke for a moment.**

**ALAN**

(exhaling)

She's dying.

**DENNY**

You mean...

**ALAN**

(interrupting)

Not Shirley. My sister. She has cancer, maybe she's dying.

**DENNY**

Maybe? You mean you don't know?

**ALAN**

My family was never much into...sharing. At one time, we were close, my sister

and I. Like two fellow combatants in a trench, I suppose. She's the one who got

me interested in law.

**DENNY**

She's an attorney?

**ALAN**

(laughing)

Hardly. She got me into the law when I started college, not knowing what I

wanted to be, but just knowing I had to...get out. She basically wrote her

own case for emancipation from our parents then, when she was only 16, and

gave it to some hack attorney to read for her. She showed me that the law was

a way out, that it could actually be used to help people.

**DENNY**

So, she helped herself, and you turned out all bleeding heart.

**ALAN**

I suppose so. My parents were all for my being a lawyer, initially, until they

found out I wasn't just in it for the money.

**DENNY**

(covering his ears)

Alan, please! Blasphemy!

**ALAN**

Well, anyway, she was alone. And soon, so was I. I should have tried to reach

out, maybe I could have done something. Maybe I...oh, I don't know…

**DENNY**

She's not dead yet, and neither are you.

**ALAN**

Did I ever mention how much I hate it when you're right?

**DENNY**

(putting his cigar in his ear)

Right? About what?

**ALAN**

You don't fool me, Denny Crane.

**DENNY**

So, why didn't she become a lawyer, since she was apparently quite gifted?

**ALAN**

That is the twenty thousand dollar question.

**DENNY**

So, ask her. While you still can.

**Alan stares at Denny for a moment, then gets up and leaves.**

**Denny follows after him, calling encouragement.** We -

FOLLOW DENNY AND ALAN -

as they leave the balcony, exit, Denny's office, and walk down the hallway.

**DENNY**

Attaboy, Alan! You can do it! You'll be glad, later. Do it before the mad cow

gets ya!

INTERIOR-CP&S HALLWAY-AFTERNOON

**Denny is too busy talking to Alan to notice what Alan sees, which is a young man leaving **

**the men's room, followed by Ari a few seconds later. Both look rather disheveled. Ari **

**hastily tries to rearrange her clothes as she notices Alan looking at her.**

CLOSE ON ALAN

**ALAN**

Tell me I didn't just see what I think I saw.

BACK TO HALLWAY

**Denny gives Alan a wacky look.**

**DENNY**

You sure I'm the only one with mad cow around here? This more of that word

lettuce crap?

**ALAN**

Salad. Excuse me a moment, Denny.

**Alan walks over and takes Ari's arm. She throws him off.**

**ARI**

What the hell are you doing?

**ALAN**

What the hell are **you** doing?

**ARI**

I don't know what you're talking about, and frankly, I bet you don't, either.

**ALAN**

I saw you! I don't care if you are dying.

**ARI**

Wait – who said I was dying?

**ALAN**

What?

**ARI**

Told you you don't know what you're talking about! I knew I shoulda bet you

some money.

**Alan manages to grab her arm and propel her towards his office.**

**ALAN**

Come on.

**Ari allows herself to be dragged down the hall and into Alan's office.**

INTERIOR-ALAN'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**ALAN**

Sit down.

**Ari plops herself down on Alan's sofa, arms tightly crossed. Alan sits down in a stuffed **

**chair. He hesitates a moment, gathering his thoughts.**

**ALAN**

Tell me again – exactly why are you here?I seem to have missed something.

**ARI**

Yeah – you missed 26 years. Oh, do you mean what's going on here besides the

cancer?

**ALAN**

So there is something else, I knew it. Talk, and try to make sense this time.

**ARI**

I always make sense.

**ALAN**

Just spill it! Are you dying or not?

**ARI**

**Not.** That's the beauty of it.

**ALAN**

That's the beauty of what?

**ARI**

Doctor Schweiber.

**ALAN**

That hack?

**ARI**

That "hack" has been treating me.

**ALAN**

You can't be serious!

**ARI**

Deathly serious. I had cancer that was totally inoperable. I went to Doctor

Schweiber. Now the cancer is totally gone, in three months.

**ALAN**

Just three months? Wow. Are you sure it's gone?

**ARI**

Absolutely. Totally. I was dying, now I'm not. You have to get this firm not

to take that case against him.

**ALAN**

And there is the catch.

**ARI**

What catch?

**ALAN**

I didn't think you came here out of any family closeness.

**ARI**

Oh, once a con woman, always a con woman?

**ALAN**

Something like that.

**ARI**

You have to get it dropped. For me.

**ALAN**

I can't even if I wanted to. It's not really my case.

**ARI**

I know. But you can try to make it go away, you know how. I checked. Just do

it, because you may be right.

**ALAN**

Right about what?

ARI

What if it is just a remission of some kind? What if I stop getting my monthly

treatments from him, and I die? Do you want that on your conscience? Besides,

I will do anything to make sure the Doctor wins. And I do mean **anything**, Al.

Trust me when I say this.

**ALAN**

So...why is it you never became a lawyer? You were off to an excellent start.

**ARI**

Much easier robbing banks and stuff. Except for that last time I got busted.

I would-a got off then, too, but the stupid attorney refused to do what I told

him to do.

**Ari shrugs at Alan, who is amazed by her nonchalance.**

**ARI**

It was inadequate representation and I appealed on that basis, too, but they

refused to hear my appeal because they were determined to hang me on it

since I made sure the other attorneys got me off the first two times I got popped.

Judge with a grudge, you know?

**ALAN**

I...kind of met a few judges like that, myself. Major grudges, too. But there

really is no justification for stealing.

**ARI**

Yo, the banks are insured against that, so the insurance companies make money,

the customers get their bread back, I get a few bucks – everyone's happy. I

refuse to steal from an individual. That's where we differ.

**ALAN**

I don't steal.

**ARI**

Oh, really? What do you get, 200, 300 bucks an hour just to go look in a bunch

of law books? How in the hell do you justify that?

**ALAN**

Actually, it's $500 an hour. And I do some pro bono, too.

**ARI**

Yeah, one or two a year, to clear your conscience? Well, I never could see

letting Harvard or some other school rob me of 100 grand just to teach me to read

a bunch of books. I can read already. And I couldn't see robbing people who are

already victimized by charging them hundreds of bucks an hour for me to read

law books for them when I can just tell them where the law library is so they can

go and check the laws themselves, and for free.

**ALAN**

So you gave up on law?

**ARI**

On the contrary, I got my degree while I was in jail, online.

**ALAN**

But you can't pass the bar because you are an ex-con.

**ARI**

That's not exactly true.

**ALAN**

What do you mean?

**ARI**

It's actually Arina Shroe who has the record. Funny how her name is so

similar to mine, ain't it? Invert two numbers in my social security number and

bingo! You got hers. Imagine that.

**ALAN**

(sarcastically)

I'd rather not, if you don't mind. You always were little miss innocence.

**ARI**

Okay, I did study computers in jail, from a couple of inmates. Bless white collar

crime! I, uh, sorta erased my whole prison and police records, among other

things. I'm quite handy, you know. Just do yourself a favor and don't try me.

Give up on the Schweiber case gracefully.

**ALAN**

I'll...see what I can do.

INTERIOR-PAUL'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Alan is standing in front of Paul's desk. Paul is sitting at his desk, shock on his face.**

**PAUL**

You would like me to do **what**!

**ALAN**

Drop the Schweiber case.

**PAUL**

I **cannot** do that! We have people in **three offices** working on this! We've

even got a senior partner here from New York specifically on this matter!

**ALAN**

Oh – what, are we doing special guest stars now? Our ratings must be sagging.

**PAUL**

Do be serious! This is -

**ALAN**

(interrupting)

- a rainmaker case. I know.

**Paul looks over his reading glasses at Alan.**

**PAUL**

Precisely! Do not mess this up, I am warning you. You **will** regret it!

**Paul gives Alan a particularly hard glare - Alan has mouthed the words "you will regret it" **

**precisely as Paul is uttering them, and Paul is clearly not amused by it.**

INTERIOR-DENNY'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Denny is seated behind the desk, Alan is standing in front of it.**

**ALAN**

You have to get them to drop the case, Denny.

**DENNY**

I can't, Alan. Not even for you.

**ALAN**

What happened to "first on the door"?

**DENNY**

I haven't had a well-publicized case in awhile. I need to be...out there.

**ALAN**

Denny, you are **always** "out there".

**DENNY**

This is different. I have to win this. I have to beat **that woman**!

**ALAN**

Shirley's not on this case.

**DENNY**

I don't mean Shirley! **Her**!

**Denny punches a remote control for his tv set**, and we see -

ONSCREEN -

a blond woman, with the caption GRACIE JANE under her.

**GRACE JANE**

So his methods aren't the quote normal unquote methods. That's no reason to

persecute the man! So he doesn't cut in the drug companies, with their

thousand-percent profit margins, or the hospitals, with their "bottom line"

price-cutting, pass-the-buck-to-the-consumer frauds they run! If it works

for you, then so what, I say! Up next, we have a report from Boston where it

appears there has been another in a string of bank robberies over the past

two weeks.

RESUME SHOT

**Denny cuts the tv off.**

**ALAN**

Did she say bank robberies?

**DENNY**

I think so.

**ALAN**

Oh, my...

CUT TO:

**ACT IV**

INTERIOR-ALAN'S OFFICE-LATE AFTERNOON

**Alan is on the sofa, looking ill-at-ease. Ari is leaning on a stuffed chair, refusing to sit down.**

**ALAN**

How long have you been out of jail?

**ARI**

About two weeks, why?

**ALAN**

I see...

**ARI**

See what?

**ALAN**

Nothing. I can't stop this case, Ari.

**ARI**

You'd better find a way!

**Ari leaves.**

INTERIOR-BRAD'S OFFICE-LATE AFTERNOON

**Brad is behind the desk, on the phone. Krath is sitting on the sofa.**

**KRATH**

I don't expect much.

**Brad hangs the phone up.**

**BRAD**

They're here.

**KRATH**

Yeah, the on site manager and that stooge who takes the rent – I think he's an

attorney, no offense.

**BRAD**

Who are the real landlords?

**KRATH**

I think some group of attorneys...Sanchez works out of an attorney's

office, and we take the rent there.

**BRAD**

Give me the landlord's name, it may come in handy later.

**KRATH**

Livonia and Associates, LLP.

**BRAD**

Okay, let's go.

**Brad takes his briefcase, and he and Krath leave.**

INTERIOR-CP&S CONFERENCE ROOM-LATE AFTERNOON

**Two men are seated at the conference table, one Black and one Hispanic. They stand as Brad **

**and Krath enter, and Krath introduces the Black man to Brad.**

**KRATH**

This is Mr. Douglas, he's the on site manager. My attorney, Brad Chase.

**Brad shakes MR DOUGLAS's hand.**

**KRATH**

And this is Mr. Sanchez.

**Brad shakes MR. SANCHEZ's hand, then they all sit down.**

**SANCHEZ**

What is it that you want?

**KRATH**

Those repairs you stipulated would be done, weren't.

**BRAD**

So my client wants those repairs done by next week, and a reduction in rent to

cover the time when the kitchen wasn't fully functional, plus further rent

reduction for the added hassles of his having to bring me in to enforce the

stip, plus the stip date's not being met.

**SANCHEZ**

How much of a reduction?

**BRAD**

30 percent rent reduction for 8 months, for the kitchen, plus 4 months of free

rent due to the broken stip.

**SANCHEZ**

(getting up)

See you in court.

**Sanchez walks towards the door. Douglas starts to follow.**

**BRAD**

Apparently so. And, in spades, sport. Because once the housing court is done.

we go to civil court, that's a promise.

**Sanchez stops at the door, turns around. **

**SANCHEZ**

Civil court? For what?

**BRAD**

I think you know. Oh – and I am quite sure you're gonna be out for medical

treatment plus pain and suffering for my client's wrist before that civil court

date rolls around.

**SANCHEZ**

We'll see about that.

**Douglas has risen by now.**

**DOUGLAS**

Let's hope no one regrets this, shall we?

**Sanchez and Douglas exit. Brad looks at Krath and raises his eyebrows. Krath shrugs.**

**BRAD**

Who else can you get to help us out in this? Who can testify?

**KRATH**

People are scared. Well, the few who dare to complain are.

**Krath leans forward in the chair.**

**KRATH**

I know this sounds sorta crazy, but there are way too many stories circulating

about the staff calling the psych ward on anyone who complains about conditions

there or disagrees with the staff in general. And whatever the staff says is

always believed by the authorities. So the tenants gather in small groups of no

more than two or three, whispering among themselves, in terror of the staff. No

actual organized protests or tenant advocacy groups though.

**BRAD**

Sounds like human rights are totally out the window there.

**KRATH**

Exactly.

**BRAD**

Let me see what I can dig up. We'll make them change their tune. Let's start with

a pal of mine that works at the Boston Globe.

**KRATH**

Are you sure?

**BRAD**

Positive. We'll get this thing cracked.

INTERIOR-DENNY'S OFFICE-LATE AFTERNOON

**Denny is at his desk, looking at the Schweiber files, when Paul enters, **

**looking very ill-at-ease, and tries some banter with Denny.**

**PAUL**

Quite a case, eh, Denny? Right up your alley. A real publicity-grabber -

**DENNY**

(cutting him off)**  
**

Cut the crap, Paul, I don't have time to dig your face out of my butt. What do

you want?

**Paul begins to pace.**

**PAUL**

Well, I...

**DENNY**

You should just go for it.

**PAUL**

(stopping short)

What?

**DENNY**

You know – Carole.

**Paul resumes pacing.**

**PAUL**

Oh, I never -

**DENNY**

(interrupting)

- oh, bull!

**PAUL**

I have absolutely no -

**DENNY**

(interrupting)

- sure you do!

**PAUL**

(sputtering)

Partners are not supposed to date each other! And I would never -

**DENNY**

(interrupting)

oh, phooey! I saw how she was looking at you, Paul. She really digs you.

**Paul abruptly stops his pacing and sits down.**

**PAUL**

Do you really think so?

**DENNY**

I do. And believe me, I know that look! All half dozen or so of my wives had it.

Just do it.

**PAUL**

Thanks, Denny, I...whatever happened to us, anyway?

**DENNY**

I don't know.

**PAUL**

We were such good friends, and then one day -

**DENNY**

(interrupting)

one day, you just...went from an innovative attorney and co-conspirator

who took chances into a think-in-a-box and think-quarterly-profits, cut and

dried businessman.

**PAUL**

Well, this **is** a business, Denny, in case you haven't noticed.

**DENNY**

Yeah, but it used to be **fun**!

**PAUL**

I...maybe I did change, Denny.

**DENNY**

And I didn't.

**PAUL**

No, you didn't. Much. I guess I let Olivia's cancer and Rachel's drug

addiction get the best of me. It was hard, Denny. I didn't want to change,

but in the end it seemed that all I had left was the firm. Maybe I did start

holding on just a bit too hard. But someone had to take care of the business

end of things. Believe it or not, Denny, I do care. And not just about the firm.

**DENNY**

I may not say it often, but I can see that, Paul.

**PAUL**

And Denny, I may not say this often, either, but – I truly admire you. You

are taking your...mad cow...much better than I would.

**Paul gives Denny a wry smile.**

**PAUL**

In fact, it tears me up to watch it happening to you because I **do** care –

about you, and about this firm we built.

**DENNY**

(sternly)

Don't think this means we're going to start any sleepovers, Paul.

**PAUL**

No, Denny.

**DENNY**

And we're sure as hell not going to share Shirley or Shirley Schmidt-ho!

**PAUL**

Of course not. I would -

**Paul stops abruptly as Alan enters, clears his throat.**

**PAUL**

You know the other partners are counting on you for the Schweiber case. I know

you'll do your best, as always. I appreciate it, Denny.

**Paul leaves, and Alan watches him.**

**ALAN**

What's with him?

**DENNY**

Nothing. What's with you?

**ALAN**

Nothing. Why does anything have to be wrong?

**DENNY**

You look like someone pissed in your Cheerios.

**ALAN**

Thanks. Just count me out of that class action party of yours.

**DENNY**

Why? We can win this! And believe me, Alan, a winner is the one with

all the marbles.

**ALAN**

As long as you don't get so driven that you go after anyone who has even

half a marble, just because you can.

**DENNY**

And I thought I was losing my marbles?

**ALAN**

Just count me out, is all. This thing with my sister is...I don't know. My

sister just...this is a horror.

**Brad just happens to be walking past as Alan says this, and he cannot resist **

**poking his head in the door and commenting.**

**BRAD**

Whats a matter, champ, your sister steal all your marbles?

**ALAN**

Butt out, Brad.

**BRAD**

Gee, touchy there, sport! Must suck to be you.

**Brad exits the doorway.**

**ALAN**

Smug bastard.

**BRAD**

(from up the hallway)

I heard that!

**ALAN**

Anyhow, Denny, I cannot be a part of this class action, and I wish to God

you'd just drop it, too.

**DENNY**

I can't. I told you, I have to do this.

**ALAN**

Then, I have to do this – count me out of any sleepovers. Count me out of your

balcony time.

**DENNY**

Are you breaking up with me?

**ALAN**

Count on it.

**DENNY**

But you've taken cases I asked you not to.

**ALAN**

And how many cases have I asked you not to take?

**DENNY**

Well...I...mad cow?

**ALAN**

This one, Denny. That's it. Not for my sister, but for me. And you can't?

Then, I can't.

**Alan leaves. Denny puts his head down on his desk in misery.**

CUT TO:

**ACT V**

INTERIOR-ALAN'S OFFICE-EVENING

**Alan is on his sofa, reading a newspaper. Denny enters.**

**DENNY**

I swear, he doesn't mean a thing to me!

**ALAN**

What?

**DENNY**

Paul! Doesn't mean a thing. Isn't that what this is really about?

**ALAN**

That is ridiculous.

**DENNY**

No, I was jealous over Hands, I admit that, and I wouldn't want you

to be jealous of Paul. We never went out on the balcony – I swear!

**ALAN**

Denny, get out.

**DENNY**

Al? Come on.

**Alan merely points to the door, and Denny leaves, his head hanging down. Alan **

**resumes reading, and Ari enters.**

**ARI**

Did he finally lose his last marble, or what?

**ALAN**

(sighing sarcastically)

I hope the hell you're happy.

**ARI**

The class action is dropped?

**ALAN**

No. I dropped my part in it. You'll have to convince Denny yourself,

because I can't.

**ARI**

Then, I'll have to do...what I have to do.

**Ari leaves.**

**ALAN**

(sighing deeply)

That's what I was afraid of.

**Alan picks up the phone. Puts it down. Stares at it. Picks it up again, and dials.**

**ALAN**

(into phone)

Police? Oh, sorry. Wrong number.

**Alan hangs up, stares at the phone, and sighs again.**

INTERIOR-BRAD'S OFFICE-MORNING

**Brad and Krath are sitting at Brad's coffee table.**

**BRAD**

As I told you over the phone, I could not find anything out about Livonia

and Associates LLP at the courthouse. They don't seem to be registered,

which is kinda odd. They should be.

**KRATH**

I found this – it's from just before I moved in, it had been shoved under my

door.

**Krath hands Brad a paper. Brad reads it.**

**BRAD**

Capital improvements, eh? And just look at all those names on the letterhead.

**KRATH**

Yeah, Sanchez, for one.

**BRAD**

Okay, we'll assume these are all partners in the company. So, I've got an idea.

**KRATH**

What is it?

**BRAD**

We shake the tree. But first things first, let's head to the courthouse.

INTERIOR-COURTROOM-DAY

**Brad and Krath are seated in the spectators chairs, waiting to be called to the stand. **

**Sanchez and Douglas enter, and Brad scowls at them, prompting them to scowl back. **

**Just then, a PHOTOGRAPHER takes a picture of them all, and Brad is smiling while **

**Sanchez and Douglas are still scowling.**

**BRAD**

(to photographer)

Thanks, Bernie. I owe you one!

**Up at the bench, the JUDGE bangs his gavel.**

**JUDGE**

Michael Krath versus Livonia and Associates.

**Brad, Krath, Sanchez, and Douglas all enter the floor, with the plaintiff going left, and the **

**defendant going right.**

**JUDGE**

What do we have here?

**BRAD**

Your Honor, Brad Chase, of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt, representing Mr. Krath. Livonia and

Associates violated a stipulation to make repairs. Motion to Restore to the Calendar.

**JUDGE**

Granted. Next Tuesday. 1pm.

**SANCHEZ**

Your Honor -

**JUDGE**

Mr. Sanchez, it says here you have adjourned this case six times already.

Enough is enough! The case will go on. Next Tuesday, 1pm, that's five business

days from today, and may I highly suggest that you be ready this time!

**The judge raps his gavel, and they all leave. As Brad and Krath are going out, a man approaches them, **

**and introduces himself.**

**MACDOUGAL**

Mr. Chase, Mr. Krath, I'm Command Sergeant Major MacDougal. I saw the

article yesterday in the Boston I speak to you for a moment?

**KRATH**

Certainly.

**BRAD**

Sure, let's go out into the hallway.

**They exit the courtroom**, going out into -

INTERIOR-COURTHOUSE HALLWAY-DAY

**Sanchez and Douglas are in the hallway, and Sanchez goes over to Brad when he sees them come out.**

**SANCHEZ**

Mr. Chase -

**BRAD**

(cutting him off)

I'm busy now, so step off, pal. You can call me at my office later. I'm sure you

have my number. Because I've **sure** got yours, Pal!

**Brad guides them all away from Sanchez and Douglas.**

**MACDOUGAL**

My, uh...office is concerned about what's going on with you, Sergeant Krath.

**KRATH**

With all due respect, Command Sergeant Major, no one was concerned when I

became homeless 18 months ago, no one was concerned over those 6 months I

lived in the street, or the 4 months I stayed in the shelter. Why the sudden concern

over my health and safety now?

**BRAD**

Bad press?

**MACDOUGAL**

Exactly. Press is already all over us about how you boys get treated when you

get back from Iraq. They don't need to hear any more bad news about the

struggles you're having to go through without ever leaving our soil.

**KRATH**

(sarcastically)

How kind of the Army.

**Brad gives Krath a hard look.**

**BRAD**

What are you prepared to do, Sergeant Major?

**MACDOUGAL**

I checked up on you, Krath. I think you're an excellent candidate

to fill a position we have open. It's a teaching post at an active Army

base. You'd be part of the National Guard training team there, retraining

soldiers switching their MOS's. You'd be AGR, sothere would be housing

available on post for you.

**KRATH**

Full time active Guard? Hmm, that actually sounds good. What's the catch?

**MACDOUGAL**

You are not to pursue this case, to ensure that there is no more potentially

negative press for the Army.

**BRAD**

(to Krath)

I think I have a way to beat them without going to court again, if you're game.

**KRATH**

(to Brad)

Are you sure? I can really have it both ways?

**BRAD**

I'm reasonably sure.

**MACDOUGAL**

Sergeant Krath, do we have a deal?

**KRATH**

Yes, Sergeant Major.

MACDOUGAL

I have certain papers that need to be signed, forms to be filled out...

**Brad hands him a business card.**

**BRAD**

Come by in with the papers in three days and I should have the landlord

thing fixed by then.

**MACDOUGAL**

Remember – no more press, or the deal is off.

**BRAD**

There won't be any more press. That'll be the last thing these jokers will want

by the time I'm through with them.

**MACDOUGAL**

See that there isn't.

**MacDougal walks away.**

**BRAD**

Hey, Mike, see you in two days, okay, buddy?

**KRATH**

Thanks a lot, Brad.

**BRAD**

No sweat.

INTERIOR-CP&S HALLWAY-AFTERNOON

**Alan is walking down the hallway. Denny is stalking him, not too covertly, but Alan is **

**just ignoring him. Alan finally goes into the men's room.**

INTERIOR-MEN'S ROOM-AFTERNOON

**Alan starts to go to a urinal, spots Denny coming in, and goes into a stall instead.**

**DENNY**

Oh, come on, Alan! You've been hiding from me and neglecting me for two days

already! When is it going to end?

**ALAN**

Denny, go away! I've said all I've got to say to you.

**DENNY**

But Alan!

**Alan begins to repeatedly flush the toilet every time Denny tries to talk to him. Paul comes in, **

**sees Denny hovering by the stalls, and raises an eyebrow at Denny. Offended, Denny leaves.**

**PAUL**

You can come out now, Alan.

**ALAN**

Thank you – I owe you one.

**PAUL**

Then get this thing with Denny fixed, whatever it is, and quickly.

**ALAN**

Can't do that right now, Paul.

**Alan peeks out of the door, sees no Denny waiting for him, and he leaves Paul shaking his head.**

CUT TO:

**ACT VI**

INTERIOR-BRAD'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON

**Brad and Krath are seated around Brad's coffee table.**

**BRAD**

Good news, buddy! I told you I could get this wrapped up in two days!

**Brad hands a check to Krath.**

**KRATH**

What is this?

**BRAD**

Moving money.

**KRATH**

Where did it – Livonia and Associates?

**BRAD**

Yeah, Merry Christmas.

**KRATH**

How did you get them to give it to me?

**BRAD**

By promising them you'd sign this.

**Brad hands him a couple of papers, stapled together.**

**KRATH**

What is it?

**BRAD**

Standard non-disclosure form, plus an agreement that you will drop all current

and future lawsuits against them.

**KRATH**

What did you do?

**BRAD**

I took that letterhead that you gave me and, working on the assumption that their

company is made up of mostly attorneys, I looked in the business white pages of all

cities within 100 miles of Boston.

**KRATH**

That was clever thinking!

**BRAD**

Then, I matched the names on the letterhead to the names of attorneys

listed, and then sent them all petitions to appear in small claims court to face

your charge that they defaulted on the stipulation. I reached out, and touched

a few of the right people. So they, in turn, called Sanchez, to see if he could

make you go away, and Sanchez then called me. You basically got $10,000

nuisance pay. We could have held out for more, but the Sergeant Major wanted

a quick lid put on this thing.

**KRATH**

So, I grab the money and run.

**BRAD**

You got it. Sign here, and here, if you want to take the deal.

**KRATH**

You bet I do! The personal injury attorney told me I'd be lucky to get

$3,000. Boy, was he wrong! Dropping that will make him pretty mad...

**BRAD**

I'll handle it.

**KRATH**

So, how much do I owe you?

**BRAD**

A few emails a year, plus a Christmas card.

**KRATH**

I'm serious.

**BRAD**

So am I. I didn't do much here, just made a couple of calls, filed a few

papers. You just work on getting yourself settled into your new job and

living situation, okay, Mike?

**KRATH**

Will do. Thank you again, Brad.

**BRAD**

Be here tomorrow to sign off on the Sergeant Major's paperwork.

**KRATH**

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

INTERIOR-ALAN'S OFFICE-EVENING

**Alan is getting ready to leave for the evening, standing behind his desk, putting his day **

**planner into his briefcase, when Denny enters.**

**ALAN**

Get out of my office, Denny.

**DENNY**

Actually, it's my office. They're **all** my offices when you think about it, since I

built this firm up from nothing. First on the door, you know.

**ALAN**

I've got nothing to say to you.

**DENNY**

That's tough, because I've got something to say to you.

**ALAN**

I don't have to listen.

**DENNY**

Actually, you do. As I said, first on the door. Don't make me pull rank.

**ALAN**

I thought it was pretty well established by now that authority and I do not mix.

**DENNY**

Alan, come on.

**Denny goes to the door. Alan remains standing behind his desk.**

**DENNY**

I said come on. **Please**.

**Alan, finally worn down, shrugs and follows Denny out.**

INTERIOR-DENNY'S OFFICE-EVENING

**Denny enters, with Alan tagging lazily behind him.**

**DENNY**

Your sister came to me, you know. She's kinda cute.

**ALAN**

Yeah, she's as pretty as a venomous snake, now will you just get to the

damned point already so I can finally go home?

**DENNY**

I still got it, you know. She couldn't stay away from me.

**ALAN**

Ari was just trying to use you and confuse you, to help Schweiber. Surely

you don't actually believe she was talking to you because she thinks you're

sexy.

**DENNY**

Alan, my boy, power is always sexy. You haven't seen Ari in two days, have you?

**ALAN**

Now that you mention it, no. What the hell did you do?

**Denny ignores the question, pours two drinks and hands Alan one. Alan stubbornly puts it **

**down on the desk, ignoring it. Denny notices Alan ignoring his drink, shrugs, lights up a cigar, **

**and moseys out to the balcony.**

**ALAN**

(yelling out to Denny)

I've told you – I do not want to go out on the balcony with you, or anyplace else

with you, for that matter. Now, just tell me - what did you do to my sister?

**Alan can see Denny's back in the window, and sees Denny put his cigar in his ear.**

**DENNY**

(yelling back)

Can't hear you, Alan.

**Alan scowls then picks up his drink, out of habit, and starts out towards the balcony, not looking too pleased.**

EXTERIOR-EVENING-DENNY'S BALCONY

**Alan comes out, looks at the drink in his hand, and deliberately puts it down. Denny shrugs.**

**DENNY**

I know a lot of people, you know. I've been working this town since before you were born.

**ALAN**

Is there a point to this?

**Denny gives Alan a stern look, puts his finger on his lips, and shushes him. Alan rolls his eyes.**

**DENNY**

(sternly)

Sit!

**Alan reluctantly sits down in his usual chair.**

**DENNY**

As I was saying, I know people, and I pulled in a marker. Doctor Schweiber

referred your sister to another doctor, one in Costa Rica. I gave her airfare

myself.

**Denny takes a drink and a puff of his cigar.**

**DENNY**

You know Costa Rica has no extradition policy with the US.

**ALAN**

You knew about my sister?

**DENNY**

You **know** I never make a third date with a woman without having a thorough background

check on her first, so why would I share my balcony without doing one? I also never personally

hire anyone without doing a check, either. And you – one look at you, and I just knew you'd be

trouble. Fun trouble, my friend. Just what this place needed. So I looked you over.

**ALAN**

And you liked what you saw enough to have me hired, just to annoy Paul.

**DENNY**

You got it!

**Alan chuckles.**

**ALAN**

Denny, I never should have doubted you and I'm truly and deeply sorry.

**DENNY**

Apology accepted.

**Denny lights a cigar for Alan, passes it to him. Alan takes a puff, then puts it in his ear, too.**

**ALAN**

Any chance this Schweiber is for real?

**DENNY**

No, he's a worthless quack. It's mind over matter in your sister's case. You

know – where there's a will, there's a way and all that corny stuff.

**ALAN**

And she is strong-willed; always was.

**Alan and Denny quietly smoke for a moment.**

**DENNY**

You know, if she truly believes she's cured, well, then...who knows? If she

believes in this other quack I had her sent to, she may outlive us both.

**ALAN**

The mind truly is an incredible thing.

**DENNY**

You said it, Alan.

**ALAN**

Sleepover?

**DENNY**

Oh, are we an item again?

**ALAN**

Appears so.

**DENNY**

My place?

**ALAN**

You're on.

**As they smoke, the scene fades to black and white, with fog around the edges**.

FADE TO:

EXTERIOR-DENNY'S BALCONY-EVENING

CLOSE ON ALAN -

SUPER-**PRESENT DAY**

The scene begins in black and white, with white fog around the edges, slowly colorizing as the scene progresses,

and the fog slowly clears. We go to -

**DENNY AND ALAN -**

**as they sit on the balcony, with scotch and cigars**.

**DENNY**

Alan? You okay?

**ALAN**

Why?

**DENNY**

You've been quiet for awhile.

**ALAN**

I'm just thinking.

**DENNY**

You know you scare me when you think too much, Alan. Bad habit, that's what it is.

**ALAN**

Sorry.

**DENNY**

So, where to tonight?

**ALAN**

Wherever the night takes us – later. I'll let you know when I've decided.

**DENNY**

Fair enough.

**ALAN**

Indeed...

**FADE OUT**


End file.
